


Fathers

by MrGivensAndHisHat



Category: Justified
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 13:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrGivensAndHisHat/pseuds/MrGivensAndHisHat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raylan gets a visit from someone who can't quite get over the fact that she respects him more than her own father...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fathers

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little writing exercise I did. I liked the whole father/daughter vibe Raylan and Loretta gave off so I decided to give it a shot. It takes place sometime between season 3 and 4. Hope you enjoy this small fic.

Fathers. They were always trouble in his book. Raylan knew this from experience. Every night, he sat at Lindsey's bar, and thought about how the hell he was going to be a good father. It's not as if he had a role model. The only thing he knew he wanted was to not end up like Arlo. That's one of the reasons he left Kentucky in the first place, to get the hell away from that asshole. Unfortunately, he never did get that wish and for some reason, when he was given the chance to leave again, he didn't take it. At the time, he thought it was because of Ava. He liked her. He still did in fact, even if he was disappointed in himself for the way he treated her and maybe because Boyd, who's full of shit in his opinion, treats her better than he ever did. But now that he looked back and thought about it, it had nothing to do with Ava. It wasn't because of Winona either. And as much as he wanted to put Boyd behind bars for good, it wasn't because of him. It was because he knew if he left again, he'd be leaving behind unfinished business. That wasn't his way. When he was 19 and left this god forsaken place, there was nothing to hold him back. He had no unfinished business. He was just leaving behind people, not problems. Now, there was no way he'd ever get out because his conscience wouldn't allow it. He came back and stirred up more shit than he ever possibly could have imagined. One of those problems, a kid. Being a father sounded nice in theory but if he was honest with himself, he didn't want a kid. Winona might thought of himself as indecisive but he knew what he would choose over his own family. He grew up with a messed up one so it was never quite as big of a deal as it was to others. He'd be a Marshal to the end of his life which lately, has seemed to be balancing on a wire, but only barely hanging on. Others might think of him as a complete dick but being a Marshal was the only thing he was ever good at aside from digging in the mines. The mines definitely weren't as glamorous.

Raylan asked Lindsey for another shot when he heard the front door of the bar open. What he saw nearly made him fall out of his seat. Loretta McCready. She spotted him, walked over and sat down on the stool next to him. Lindsey gave him a questionable look before attending to other customers. Raylan sighed.

"Loretta? What are you doing here at a bar of all places?" Raylan said before taking a sip of his newly refilled drink.

"Well Marshal, maybe if you looked in the mirror, you'd find the reason." Raylan couldn't help but smirk at the 14 year old's wit. She was beyond her generation, that was for sure.

"You found me Loretta, so what can I do for you?" He asked.

"I just needed to talk to you." Raylan raised an eyebrow at her answer.

"You just needed to talk? With me? While I'm getting drunk?"

"Yes. While you're getting drunk. You see, my foster parents aren't all that great to talk to. You told me to give them a chance and that was all dandy, but every time I even mentioned anything that happened, they don't know what to say other than "you have to move on". I don't think they've talked to many 14 year old girls who have been through the stuff I have. So I convinced them to let me to talk to someone familiar. Someone who understands. Because if I don't, I feel like I'll explode." She responded.

Her response caught Raylan off guard. He was almost flattered but he still didn't understand how he of all people could help her. Even if he was the most familiar with her and her situation, what did she want him to do? Listen and comfort her? He nearly laughed if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't want to disrespect Loretta. It might have sounded weird when said out loud, but he respected her. She reminded him a bit of himself. What that said about himself, he didn't know.

"How did you find me anyway?" He asked, genuinely curious. She only rolled her eyes.

"My foster parents drove me to the Marshal's office but you weren't there. Your boss gave us directions to this place though. He figured you'd be drinking your ass off. He wasn't wrong." She said with amusement.

"Well Loretta, I don't know what to tell you. You want someone to listen to you and understand, maybe even get a bit of advice, but as much as I seem like the obvious candidate, that doesn't make me the right one." His response didn't deter her.

"Raylan, you're the only one." He looked up from his glass to her. There weren't many times when she called him by his name. The last time was when she called him about Coover.

"Well shit. Alright then Ms. McCready, shoot."

"Believe it or not, it has more to do with you then what happened between me and the Bennetts." She said in a matter of fact voice.

"Really now? Did I do something wrong?" He asked.

"No, the opposite. After everything that happened, there was only one person I respected. It wasn't my father. I almost felt pity for him but it wasn't respect. It wasn't Mags neither. It wasn't any of the Bennetts. It was you. Every night when I go to bed, I think about my family and about the Bennetts. Sometimes, I even cry about it. I think about everyone that ever let me down. I think about whether I did something wrong, about whether some higher power decided to take everything away from me. But, it always ends on the same note. You. When I couldn't trust anyone, when I was so used to people letting me down, you gave me a phone and told me to call you if anything bad was about to happen to me. When you told me that, I didn't quite believe you. But I wanted too. And when I figured out what happened to my father, you came when I called, just like you said you would. But you didn't just save me that night, you gave me someone to look up to. I needed you to know my gratitude. You did more for me than my own father did and in some twisted way, the only father I ever wanted was someone like you." Her eyes were on the verge of tears by the end, but she refused to let any slip. She didn't want to be obnoxious, no matter how hard it was for her to tell him her deepest thoughts.

Raylan didn't know what to say. He only stared at her in shock. And for a split second, he felt admiration. Not just for Loretta, but for himself. For once in his life, he felt like he did something unquestionably right. Sure, he was a Marshal, and as a lawman, it was his job to put his life on the line for people. But he didn't have to give her a phone to call him. He didn't have to go out of his way to be there for her. But he did. Maybe at the time he didn't realize what his actions entailed, but he was proud of those actions nonetheless. He gave her a simple smile in return.

"I appreciate that Loretta. Really, I do. And... I want you to know that you can call me any time if you need someone to talk to. You still have the phone I gave you right?" She nodded in response to his question while wiping her eyes unsubtly. "Good. But promise me you won't casually walk into bars until you're 21, clear?" She gave him a grin.

"As you wish Raylan."

"Are your foster parents outside waiting for you?" She nodded again. "Well don't keep them waiting. I appreciate the visit. Next time, I'll visit you instead."

"Promise?" She asked.

"I promise." With that, she got up from her stool, gave him one last look and walked out the front door. Raylan could only chuckle at himself. He felt a little lighter after that talk. Lindsey walked back over, still with a questioning look on her face.

"Who was that?" She asked.

"Someone I admire." He said with a hint of a smile. It wasn't a lie. He did admire her. Even if she was only 14, she went through a lot, just like he did when he was younger. And he was confident she'd go on to live a good life. In a way, he helped her along the way to achieve that kind of life. Maybe with that reassurance, he felt a little better about becoming a father.


End file.
